things fall apart

"It's funny how things feel the same, and even stranger how quickly they change into one another..." ~Lyrics from my song Collide

It's interesting how nothing turns out, but somehow manages to regenerate. This week has been a trying experience in this sort of unintentional reincarnation. Things fall apart, you bust your ass trying to glue them back together.

I've been working on two self-portrait busts in ceramic for a few months now. They have certainly been ignored for too long, and the clay was nearly bone dry when I tried to work on them again. So, I foolishly soaked them in water to make them softer, and they simply crumbled in my hands. Luckily, the busts were based on a press mold I have, so I spent the rest of the night making a second pair of heads. Each will probably need around 40 hours of work in detailing and kiln prepping...

I have a large plaster waste mold that I've been trying to fiberglass for weeks now- the resin never catalyzes. The first cast failed, and it took two weeks to scrub the mold clean. I replaced the catalyst. The second cast failed, but this time I immediately cleaned the resin out. I replaced the resin I had been using. Finally, last night, I cast a third time with fresh mats, and it kicked!! The resin set up beautifully, and I FINALLY have two halves of my mold totally fiberglassed. Now I just have to fuse them together and break the mold off. Home stretch...

Tuesday I was supposed to fly to L.A. I had an incredible opportunity to fly there for only $150 with my friend, see a live taping of the Ellen Show, and stop in Dallas to see my mom. An hour before the flight, my ticket price unexpectedly increased to $250. What a great opportunity that just slipped through my fingers. But, by not going, I have much more money left over for art supplies. I need to buy plywood and paint today, and it's gonna set me back quite a bit.

Last night I ended my 2 1/2 year relationship. I know it'll be for the best in the long run, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less. Two weeks ago we were about to take the next step foreword, and then all of a sudden things seemed to crumble entirely. We're different people headed in different directions, and sometimes love just isn't enough to make something good last.

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I guess the thesis of this blog would be that no matter what crumbles, it will be rebuilt again. It might take new materials, or maybe new perspective, but good can still come out of whatever bad luck you might encounter. Seeing the good through these rough times is really what keeps me happy.

And I am happy.

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